Excuses, excuses, excuses.

In our defence.

We became reptile rescuers,

Have survived the swine flu,

Played with fire,

congratulated those that fought fire,

and have excelled at chicken farming.

The price of the party

Yeah, for me yesterday was my birthday and as you all know I like to spend the money, sooo this year Carsten helped spread a little of the wealth around.

After missing a great offer of a birthday lunch with a friend because Carsten came home sick with a upset stomach and head ache. I left him home resting on the couch while Dawson snoozed on the other couch, and ran to "Happy hell" to mail off a package of favorite sister/daughter/grand daughter wonderful just in time for the elk hunt cookies.

Well while I was in town I picked up the other three wonder pets, and some tummy bug supplies and raced the fly boat back to the chicken ranchette.

"I love the whole world and all its craziness boomdeadda boomdeadda...."

Me; Hello,

Carsten; MOM I SWALLOWED A PENNY AND ITS STUCK AHHH AHHH!!!!!

Me; okay sweetie I am at the mail boxes and will be there in a minute, can you breathe alright?

Carsten; AAAAHHHHH,


The mom runs into the house to find very upset wonder pet holding his throat with big blue eyes wider than ever. Breathing fine, talking fine, alright lets go spend that birthday money. Off to the clinic.


Ring, ring

"Hello Williams Health Care Center this is Nancy,"

"Hey Nancy it's Dusty is urgent care busy?"

"No, why,"

"Ahh, Carsten swallowed a penny and is complaining that it is stuck."

"OKAY, we will be ready for him bring him straight back to x-ray, see you soon."




And this is what the x-ray showed.
Lincoln going down head first.

"Hi are you the mom?"

"Umm yeah Dr. Poulstein I am."(my hell do people randomly bring in stray kids?)

"Okay well he needs that out."

"No sh*t,"

"We are sending him to flag."

"Okay,"

"By ambulance."

"Barbara say what?"

"Yeah I don't like the look of that, if it moves the wrong way its headed to the lungs."



Yah, that's an I.V. port and a gurney,



Bears looking a little scared in his new ride,



"Room four" of the emergency department at Flagstaff Medical Center, where we will spend the next four hours.

After three sets of x-rays, two sets of meds in the port, 50 jumping jacks(really) and endless laughter and spare change jokes the decision was made, 88 more cents and we could make a taco bell run and Carsten was heading off to the O.R. for a little penny fishing.



Poor boy awoke, proved he could eat a Popsicle and was released just in time to go home to bed, a little wiser and a little poorer.

Carsten is doing fine today enjoying a day on the couch eating ice cream, Popsicles and yogurt.

Price;
clinic; 25.00
E.R.; 150.00
Taco Bell run; 4.56



Eggs for sale; 2.50 a doz.

Cause its my Birthday

Dear year 35,

Welcome to my life. I hope that you have plans for us because I sure do.

Lets lose 30 pounds, and spend more time on ourselves. Lets not feel guilty about having our nails done. What we have never done this, well maybe we should.

How about we buy a few clothing items not on the clearance sale racks. And maybe buy shoes other than "flip flops".

We'll spend more time on our hair and finally figure out that make-up thing. While we are thinking about it lets remember to take a little bit more time on skin care, and remember lotion and sunscreen every day.

I think we should spend more time focusing on our marriage with thoughts to the future when we have more time without kids. Maybe figure out a career path, and go back to school, that toddler is growing up fast. Ooh how about a little more patience with those curious kids, and remember all those questions have answers.

Hey 35 lets slow down and enjoy ourselves we're not racing anyone.

Oh, and 34 you can go to HELL.

Happy Birthday Harold

Happy Birthday Mike,

Last year I had to come up with 40 facts about you,

This year just a thank you.

Happy Birthday and thanks for loving this crazy chicken farmer with all those kids and pets.

I love you.

Love Betty.

What came first

The chicken,

it took 19 weeks and two days for the egg.

Good Bye Summer, Good Bye

Schools back in session here in the hundred acre woods.

and while we must now get to bed early and wake even earlier,

we are still having fun.

Summer recap,

Popsicles= approximately 20 boxes, and four bags.

pop corn= 14 bowls,

ice cream= about 8 gallons(we are Simper descendants after all)

sunburns=10 at least

baseball games= 14

games won= 12

nights spent in our own beds= 1

nights spent on the trampoline=10

night we never went to sleep=2(mom says it feels like more)

movies watched at the theater= 2

classic movies rediscovered= way to many to count,

tubs of "fart noise"=5

giggles from "farts"= lets not go there,

trips for ice cream cones= 8

drives to see the wildlife=5

times we saw wildlife=1,

what we saw when we got home= elk, deer.

baths and showers missed= way to many

mornings we slept in= none, mom says it is impossible for us to sleep pass 6:30

school shopping trips= 4

pairs of flip-flops the freezer "ate"=3,

pairs of school shoes bought= 6

kids attending school= 4

lunches packed= 5.

days our dad has been gone= 6

nights the cats have slept in the house= 6(do you see a pattern?)

number of eggs gathered= 0

school days left before summer break=179

memories= countless.

The "Olden Days"

Remember sitting on your grandparents couch and watching the old shows with them?

You remember Lawrence Welk and how he would introduce some ancient Big Band and your grandparents would get that look on their faces and their eyes would mist over, and you would roll your eyes.

And after the infomercial was developed they would sit and watch the Time Life music sales and you would laugh because it reminded you that they were so stinking old and that you would never sit on the couch and sway along to the music and think about the good old days.

Ever.

Well we all get old, and all our memories get better.
Just like a fine wine,
or the picture on your drivers license.

And the music we would not have been caught dead listening to, say twenty years ago because you would never have been caught listening to stoner music because you can't be a stoner and wear long sleeved buttoned-up clear to your throat shirts with dry clean only pants and like those heavy metal bands. Right.

Remember that?

Well last night after watching the Antiques Roadshow, Mike pried the remote out of my hands and started channel surfing. He landed somewhere up in the boring cable channels, they were playing an old old 80's rock song.

We froze, we got "that look" on or faces, our eyes glazed over, and we both started swaying and singing along.

Yup it was a Time Life infomercial.

Our children were on their best behavior and they just sat there with "that look" on their faces, and carefully whispered between themselves.
And gave us the look.
Then they started singing along.
Turns out we had given birth to closet stoners.

We watched the whole infomercial, sang, laughed, and "Oh My Goshed" for the entire half hour.

And then beat it over to the computer and looked up the Time Life website. Just to look you know, we would never buy something like that.
Wow, five easy payment of 29.99. OMG my wistful memories are not that priceless(or maybe I am not that old after all).

I Ordered it off Ebay instead.
Got the entire boxed set for 50.00.
Plus 3.00 shipping and handling, of course,
because I am "hip and trendy" defiantly not an "old rocker".

So let me know if you would like me to burn you a copy.

Saige and Nate are getting a baby, unless we steal him!

Most all of you know that Saige and Nate(my little sister and great bro. in law) have now been happily married for several years and have been patiently waiting for the phone to ring.......

Well come August a precious baby boy will born to them.
I will let them announce his name and all the other great details upon his delivery, but they have graciously agreed to let me announce his pending delivery and wondrous adoption.

Saige and Nate are very excited and a bit apprehensive.
When you carry a child you worry until birth about their health, size and who they will look like.
When you adopt you also add the worry that the birth parent(s) will change their minds.

When you give birth to a child you are required to provide a car seat for the drive home.
When you adopt, you are finger printed, your background is searched, your house and bank account is scrutinized, and every detail of you life is on display for not only the birth parent(s) but their lawyer, your lawyer, the social workers, and the court who ultimately makes the decision if you truly get to keep this child that you have fallen hopelessly in love with.

Getting pregnant and giving birth is relatively easy.
Adopting can take years of struggle and heartbreak.

This little boy is so loved and wanted.


So, since most of us have never gone through this process I thought I would help out by answering a few questions for you. Because as my friends and family I would really hate for you to look stupid.

1, So how much does it cost?
a lot, so unless you want to donate, just remember that all babies are priceless.

2, How can you love a child that you did not give birth to?
Never question God, also I did not give birth to your children but I would still step out in front of a moving bus to save them, love knows no boundaries.

3, How will you discuss adoption with your child?
That is up to the family, but yes this precious child will be of mixed decent so he will always know that he was loved by so many that wanted the best for him.

4, Is this baby off the black market?(really a question that was asked)
No it is all legal. But if you have info on black market adoption please alert the proper authorities.

5, Are you willing to adopt more?
Yes we, okay they really want more.

6, Can we give a baby shower?
Hell yes, do you know how much this is costing, they are also not afraid of hand-me-downs.

7, Can we come and love on this baby when you get him home?
Again hell yes, but remember kiss the toes not the nose.

Saige and Nate know what they are doing and we are all in love with this little miracle, we as a family are humbled by both their dedication to have an eternal family, and the amazing love shown by a wonderful birth mother willing to give the most precious gift a family can receive.

The dog days of summer

Sorry for no new posts,
but,


this about sums it up!


p.s. this is Delaynie our 130 pound lap dog
and today is her seventh birthday. She is usually
much furrier, but now that she is getting older I
had her shaved for the summer, so she could
spend time in the house out of the summer heat.

Wild Arizona(bite this Marty Stouffer)

Mike spends most of his working days at the helibase located on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. Mostly whiling away the hours between medivacs and short haul rescues and fighting wild land fires by reading, riding his bike, reloading bullets, and holding down the couch.


Some days though he really goes to work. This is the stuff he truly enjoys.
He gets to mix his love of flying with his love of the outdoors and wildlife.


Papillon contracts their helicopters and pilots(mainly Mike) out to the Arizona Game and Fish.
Recently they were over on the Arizona/Nevada border doing a sheep capture to monitor migration with the new road construction around the dam.


Usually they hang some under paid wildlife biologist(gunner) out of the helicopter with a loaded rifle(modified to shoot game nets instead of bullets). This poor guy sits and waits as Mike flies around the desert while another AZ game and fisher acts as the mugger. When they find the poor animal the gunner shoots,

and then the mugger jumps out of a still flying helicopter. After the helicopter lands the gunner then jumps out and runs to help. Normally they draw blood and put on a tracking collar,

and then the animal is released, at which time the unharmed sheep stands and shakes him/herself off and runs back to the herd with nothing more than a great story and a new expensive necklace to show off later that night while grazing with the fam.

But sometimes things don't go as planned,

and the sheep go a little wild,

especially if say, you had previously survived a mountain lion attack,

then all bets are off. At which point the sheep start showing off their moves.

The moonwalk seems to be a favorite,

and the two step with a little shimmy and a twist

always scores extra points with the judges.

and going all Shawn Johnson really works at putting a little fear into the guys that just pushed your fight or flight button really hard.

and if you really want to make those guys wish they had never left the office,

it is always a good idea if you can look'um in the eyes,

while going all kung fu fighting while issuing the dance off challenge


and then step back and watch the pumpkin boogie,

and the gunner/mugger doe-si-doe,

and after obviously winning the great wildlife dance off,

it is always best just to run off into the sunset,

while they dust themselves off.